I have spent the majority of my adult life trying to figure out what my purpose was, why I was put on this earth. I had friends who were nurses, doctors, teachers, and the like, and in my mind, they were doing things that mattered. I have worked in the horticulture industry for twenty-five years now and it has been a struggle to feel like I have made any kind of impact during that time. I can't claim that I saved anyone's life by planting a tree or taught any kind of life lesson to anyone while scheduling a big commercial landscape project. Yes, I have trained folks on the finer points of pruning and planting, but has it made an impact? I sure hope so, but I just don't have any proof, and that has left me feeling unfulfilled for many years.
In the last eighteen months I started volunteering for various causes. I had never volunteered for anything significant before, and I entered this new world with an immense amount of trepidation and uncertainty. I was first asked to get certified to be a 4-H archery instructor, and then almost instantaneously, asked to get certified to be a Hunter Education instructor. I said yes in both instances, a move that for an introvert, was very unlike anything I would have ever done before that moment, and I still can't explain what made me agree to do either.
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| A brand new Hunter Education instructor 2018 |
Around that same time, I was part of a conference call with some fellow Hoosiers who were interested in starting a Backcountry Hunters & Anglers chapter in our state. We had reached the threshold for number of members needed in order to start a chapter, so we had to form a board of directors. I had zero intentions on being on any type of board, I was certain of that going into the phone call. I simply wanted to have a chapter in Indiana so I could get involved in some work days and be part of something that was gaining steam across the country. BHA was growing exponentially and I believe in the mission of protecting and advocating for our public lands, I just didn't intend on doing it in a formal manner. However, once again, in a move completely out of character, I threw my name in the mix when they were asking for anyone who would step up and be a board member. A few months after that, I was invited to be a 2% for Conservation Regional Committee Member, a position I applied for, being that I was already a 2% Certified individual.
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| 2% For Conservation Certified |
One of the cool things about volunteering, is that you get to meet so many amazing people along the way. One of those folks asked for one or two new BHA board members to attend, or be apart of, groups that he was involved with, to make sure we were able to give input or be made aware of things going on in the state legislature, regarding sportsmen and women. So, I started attending quarterly the Indiana Sportsman's Rountable meetings and that led to being looped into the Indiana Conservation Alliance. There were so many great people involved with these groups and organizations that I had a hard time saying "no" to anyone who asked me to give my time for their cause. I am also a Hunt To Eat Brand Ambassador, which is something I am very proud of, and happy to do.
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| Hunt To Eat booth, BHA Rendezvous, Boise, ID - May 2019 |
Meetings and conference calls started to add up, in addition to work days and pint nights, emails and app notifications that needed prompt attention. I spent the better part of four consecutive days last February at the Indiana Deer, Turkey and Waterfowl Expo, splitting time between the BHA booth and the Hunter Education booth. I gave the keynote speech at the Indiana R3 Summit not long after that and vowed to never speak in public again, only to turn around and stand in front of the Indiana Natural Resources Commission a few months later, on behalf of BHA, and read an official statement in defense of keeping Salamonie State Forest, a state forest, instead of the proposed state park. I wasn't real shot in the ass about doing it, but I was the only one who could sneak away from work and make our statement in the middle of the day. I went to Boise in May to represent Indiana BHA and to volunteer my time helping Hunt To Eat, in their booth. I spent every Tuesday night at the fairgrounds for fifteen weeks, from six to eight pm, working with the 4-H archery kiddos and then worked the fair during their tournament. I spent entire weekends this past fall, in August and September, at Ross Camp, for Hunter Ed Advanced Academy and then the fall Shooting Sports workshop. I helped teach fall and spring Hunter Education classes in my county, which run Friday evening and all day on Saturday, I volunteered a Saturday in October to teach archery to the public at the Fall Colors Festival, at McCloud Nature Park. Then I was asked to give the keynote speech at the Indiana Pheasants Forever State Meeting in January, and with a knot in my stomach, I accepted. I was back at Ross Camp for the weekend at the beginning of February for the Shooting Sports planning meeting. Right before I went to Ross Camp, I was contacted and asked to join the International Caribou Foundation's Board of Directors as their Communications Advisor. And just this past Saturday, at the Hoosier Outdoor Writers Annual Meeting, I was approached about joining the Citizen's Advisory Board for the Indiana Turn in A Poacher (TIP) program.
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| Talking with my friend and ICO, Tony Mann, whom I met through Hunter Education |
I never imagined that I, the girl who didn't like crowds, the girl who would rather keep to herself, and the girl who had never volunteered for practically anything in her life, would be so involved after saying "yes" that one time, almost a year and a half ago, would actually have to scale back and start saying "no". Knowing what the last eighteen months have been like, and how thinly I have spread myself between the non-profit groups I dearly love, and my family, whom I happen to love even more, I knew something had to give. This however, is the hard part. The constant going and doing is easy for me because I love what I am doing. Walking away from something would be really tough.
Working with students in the Hunter Education classes that I have helped teach and working with my 4-H kids each week at our archery shoots, are the two most gratifying things I have ever been a part of. I never imagined that I would feel so strongly about one program, let alone two. The people I volunteer alongside in the Hunter Education Association and the Indiana 4-H Shooting Sports State Team are the lifeblood of these organizations, they are a family, and they are the folks who make it all work. The Indiana BHA team is a strong one and we have learned a ton in the last year. Our chapter is growing and more folks are becoming aware of who we are and what we want to protect. I am impressed every single day at how in tune these guys are with current legislative issues and how they take action when it is needed. I have been reading up on Caribou, where they once were, and why they are no longer there. The more research I do, I find myself being drawn to learn even more. I find myself feeling a loss for an animal from what seems like a far off place, that I knew nothing about, only a month ago. This is a cause that needs more attention, one that needs to be discussed and talked about in the same way people once talked about the declining deer herds, or the almost extirpated bison. Can you imagine if the Mule Deer or Whitetail were suddenly gone from the lower forty-eight states? How different would our mindset be? What urgency would we, as hunters, suddenly feel?
What it comes down to is choices. A wise man named Jared Frasier reminded me, that when you try to give your time and resources to too many orgs., you are not only being unfair to yourself, but you are being unfair to the orgs. Volunteers are critical to non-profit organizations, and you can make a huge difference by just giving a little bit of your time to a group you feel passionate about. You don't have to go "all-in" like I have, as a matter of fact, I don't recommend it. Before you realize what is happening, your calendar fills up and you are being pulled in multiple directions. And no matter how much you are enjoying the process in that moment, it can, and it will, catch up with you. It's called BURN OUT. So I have decided to step down, and back, from one of the two most time consuming commitments I have, in order to not only give my best to the remaining groups, but so that I can also spend more time with my boyfriend of seven and a half years, Chance, and my bonus kiddo, Cianni. Balance is critical in all aspects of life and I was leaning harder toward my volunteer obligations, and leaning away from the very people I love most. Weekend after weekend away from home, speaking engagements, meetings, working events, etc. were starting to wear thin on my other half. So before I ruined a relationship with the very person who got me into hunting to begin with, I took a step back to evaluate the situation and my priorities, and to make some important decisions.
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| Myself, Cianni and Chance |
I will be focusing and spending my time on the groups that I feel like I can have the most impact and where I can hopefully make the biggest difference. The Hunter Education Association and the Indiana 4-H Shooting Sports programs are local, state based organizations that don't have the immense backing, whether it be volunteers, donations, or the notoriety, that a lot of the national organizations like NWTF, Pheasants Forever, or BHA do. Some of the folks who have been Hunter Education or Shooting Sports instructors have been giving their time and their dollars for upwards of thirty years. The amount of hours that this small group of volunteers is giving is to be applauded. But they need help. They need more people to step up, and quite frankly to just say "yes" to volunteering. There are spring and fall Shooting Sports workshop weekends, Hunter Education classes to be taught all over the state, putting on the Becoming an Outdoors Woman camp, two conservation based summer camps for kids than run over three weeks, the weekly shoots at the local 4-H clubs, work weekends at Ross Camp, Hunter Education Academy weekend, NASP tournament, State Fair and Deer and Turkey Expo booth volunteer opportunities and so much more. And it's always the same people showing up to make all of these things happen. My heart tells me that my time is best spent where it is most needed.
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| Volunteering in the archery booth at the Fall Colors Festival - October 2019 |
I recently joined the Board of Directors for the International Caribou Foundation as the Communications Advisor. I have a lot to learn, but like I mentioned before, I am now aware of the importance of bringing awareness and attention to these animals. If we don't give them the same attention and funding that we do other species who were once in decline, they will be disappear before our very eyes, and I'm not just talking about what we have already lost in the lower forty eight.
I plan on being a Hunt To Eat Ambassador until they kick me out, so there's that. The clothing designs are fantastic and tastefully done, I could seriously live in the hoodies, but that's not the best part about this company. The ethos that surrounds the Hunt To Eat brand is something that I feel and believe, in the depths of my soul. Hunting is for everyone, food and the outdoors can bring everyone together, regardless of your skin color, your religion, your sexual orientation, or your social class and we need to encourage that. And it should be noted, the amount of time and money Hunt To Eat puts back in conservation is a business model many brands could, and should, follow.
Lastly, against my better judgement, and at the risk of embarrassing myself, I will continue to do speaking engagements and accept podcast invitations to tell my story. It makes me horribly uncomfortable to speak in front of a crowd, but if it will encourage folks to not only become volunteers for cause they believe in, but to also give anyone who has faced an unimaginable situation in their life, the hope they need, to fight through it and move on to bigger and better things in life. Because if I can do it, anyone can.
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| Our first Indiana BHA Chapter Pint Night 2018 |
So, this means I have to give a few things up. I am stepping down as Co-Chair for Indiana's BHA chapter and resigning from the Board of Directors. I hate to do it, but there is a group of guys steering the ship for Indiana that are as sharp as a tack and they are going to take our chapter to great places. This means I will no longer be attending the Indiana Sportsman's Roundtable meetings, nor will I be involved with the Indiana Conservation Alliance (which I was failing miserably at, by the way), as a representative of Indiana BHA. My goal, with regards to BHA, was to get a chapter started in my state. I, along with others, hounded Ty Stubblefield with emails, until he finally gave us the green light. We worked our tails off to meet the requirements needed and I was proud as a peacock to be sitting in the crowd, in Boise Idaho, during the 2018 BHA Rendezvous, when he announced that we were official. I won't soon forget that feeling and sense of pride. But now it's time for me to step aside and let the next passionate public landowner get in there and get their hands dirty. I will continue to advocate for our public lands both near and far, but I will do so from the sidelines.
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| Randy Newberg and I, BHA Rendezvous, Boise, ID - May 2019 |
I will leave you with this concept, as described by someone whose actions unknowingly guide me as a newer conservationist, Mr. Randy Newberg: Conservation is never easy, it is always difficult. It is never convenient, things pop up at the worst, most inopportune times. And it is never comfortable, it causes conflict at times and not everyone will agree with you. Randy is right, but another thing I agree with Randy on, is that conservation is absolutely worth it. We aren't giving our time and our dollars for ourselves, or what we are going to get out of it, we are doing it for the generations to come. I told Drew YoungDyke last week while recording his podcast, that I honestly don't feel like I am doing anything special by volunteering for the different conservation-oriented organizations, because anyone can do exactly what I am doing. I also told him, and I am absolutely sincere when I say this, I don't care if anyone ever knows my name or can pick me out of a line-up. I only care about the possibility, that by sharing my volunteer experiences with others, via social media or this blog, and spreading the joy it brings me, along with the real impact volunteering can make, that it will encourage someone else to do the same.
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| Volunteering in the Hunter Education booth at the Deer, Turkey & Waterfowl Expo - Feb. 2019 |
I mentioned at the beginning of this piece that I had struggled to find my purpose in life. And while it may have taken me a little longer than some, I finally feel like I have an idea now, what it is. Volunteering is no longer something I am afraid of doing, it is something that I look forward to, and get excited about, because I believe in the causes I am working hard for, and I believe in the people I am working alongside. Lives are being changed every time a volunteer gives some of their time to help someone else learn a new skill, or teaches a new hunter to be safe in the woods, or educates someone on a species that is in trouble, or how to advocate effectively for our public lands. Be a volunteer, one of the lives you change, might just be your own.
